Monday, July 14, 2008

Where Dynasties Are Made - Entry 1

Day 1 - Thursday - July 11th
We left for Tucson this day, being well aware that the heat was going to be out of control. But that's not a big deal, we've dealt with it before. Us and the Antag's had merch to pick up, so naturally things would be running late. We are sharing a van on this trip, much fun shall ensure, i'm positive. As we all gather at my parents hosue, we are already starting the jokes on one another. Making sure that the others know we all came here to have a good time and, well just tease the shit out each other.When you put us two in a van, let alone hanging out with, we all try to rip out each others jugulars instantly. But in the "i'm smarter than you" kind of way. If you don't bring your movie qoutes and wit, you better not even show up. So we trek on out to Tucson to start this tour.

We arrive in Tucson later in the day. Actually, way later as we had lagged for hours at home. We made it on time to the show, which was being held at The Living Room which Ashley helped set up. Ashley is a girl who works or volunteers there, I'm honestly not sure which, but either way, she gave us a place to stay and place to play. The show was pretty good. All the bands played extremely well and there were some kids in attendance who acted like they gave a shit about what was going on. After the show, Ashley invited us to stay at her house, which we kindly accepted. On our way over, we purchased the beer "Session" which we had only had 1 time previous while we were at the Early Graves house in San Francisco. Since it was cheap and had a high alcohol content, we figured this was the best bet for us. As we purchase the beer, we head down the road to Ashley's house to start drinking/eating/shit talking/pooping/being assholes. Ashley offers to make us pasta, which of course we let her make, then we immediately threw all of it on the walls. Just to show her who is boss. Actually, we never did that. But that'd be a better tour story. Instead, we ate the pasta, drank the beer, and smoked the ganja all the while watching some great movies. We started with Die Hard - With A Vengeance followed by Speed. Yeah, those are awesome movies. Eventually everyone passed out or fell asleep. We were all exhausted from the heat, but luckily it started to rain outside which made the night sounds that much more pleasant....

Day 2 - July 12th - Tucson to Oklahoma City
We drove. All day, all night. This drive was awful. Nothing to do, nothing to see. In fact, if I can avoid ever doing that again, I will die a happy man. I honestly can't remember anything really funny happening during this. So I will skip to the next day.

Day 3 - July 13th - Oklahoma City, OK
I'm not really sure what it is, but I get this overwhelming sensation of sadness when I come to Oklahoma. Maybe it's my surroundings. I'm not sure really, but I can't help but feel it. It's nothing personal against the state, it's just how I feel when I step foot in it. Our show was at the venue called The Factory for that night. We had never played there. It is also the first night where we meet up with Sea Of Treachery. One thing I guess I'll never understand is certain alcohol laws that apply in different states. Oklahoma being one of them. It's just incredibly difficult to find and when you do find it, all of the beer is half of the normal content! Remarkable I must say. We met up with a friend that Antagonist knew, a nice guy by the name of Jared. He met us at the local mall, because we love going to the mall. Jared told us where he lived in corellation to the mall so that way we could all go back to his apartment and chill out for just a bit. We all started to get comfortable whene somebody decided to put on the movie "Hitman" which was in theatres earlier in the year. Well, let's just say that movie is the biggest piece of shit movie I have ever watched. Jesus H.fucking Christ. The ONLY upside, and I mean ONLY upside, is that amazingly gorgeous girl gets naked for a bit. Sorry, but it's the truth. I could never sit through such a horrendous piece of trash ever again. In fact, if you even play that video game, you are now the biggest asshole on earth. Yep. It's like that. Nothing will change my view. So, on to the show. Basically, there were only a few kids there who actually cared about music. It's sad really. I'm not talking shit, but kids just don't have their priorities straight. Either way, we played our best and did what we always do. Whether or not kids enjoyed it. Because that's what we do. Music is our art and we will always take the opportunity to play in front of anyone. After the show we all went back to Jared's house where we continued watching movies, like "the Great Outdoors" which is an effing classic. We drank a bit, met the dudes in Sea Of Treachery and eventually fell asleep like tired little kids. All in all, it was a good night. Onto Dallas.

Day 4 - Dallas, TX(Lewisville) - Fat Daddy's Soundshack
You know, I'll admit that I can definitely be an asshole. In fact, I'm sure that most of you already think that. But I could care less. But when I attend a show, I never want to be that guy or group of people who are the assholes. Now, I understand that you will definitely not like most of the bands you see during your short time on Earth. That's just life. But rather than sit down in the chairs at the back of the venue, why don't you go outside? Well, we had a great show in Lewisville, the kids who were up front were rocking out and getting their money's worth. Unfortunately, there are those few shithead kids who think they're just the hottest damn spectacle on Earth. Yeah, well if you're one of those kids, fuck you. So that's it for that. I'm sure most of you who love going to shows and supporting bands feel the same way I do about this. Anywho, the show was awesome. The people that were there were into all the bands and had a great time. Therefore, I had a great time. It's always awesome seeing certain kids coming out to shows time and time again. It kind of makes you feel like this whole thing is worth it. So I thank you for your time. Fat Daddy's was an awesome place, great sound, nice staff, the works. We're very rarely treated like that while out on tour, so when it does happen you definitely just want to take in the moment. But it wasn't the show that was on our mind, it was the afterparty that we'd be having at The Clubhouse.Now, we're not "rockstars" in the slightest, shit, we don't want to be a lame ass rock star. But we do like strip clubs and alcohol just like the next guy. So what the hell, let's go to the strip club that Vinnie Paul from Pantera owns! Fuck yes! Most bands do go there and have a great time, mainly cause they have money to spend on girls. Yeah, well we don't have that. We have our beer and imaginations. That's it. So we got in for free, because one thing they do there is offer bands free entry if you're on tour. That's great stuff right there. So without even spending any money we were graced with the presence of fake boobies and baby powder. How delightful. Needless to say, we all got trashed. We were having our own party in the strip club which was being led full force by a friend of ours. (I can't mention any names!) We were feeding vodka to each other and pounding beers and trying to get free lap dances. But of course that never works, these girls are leeches who want the money! Which we didn't have, luckily though, one of my good friends who lives in Dallas bought me a lap dance. Which was actually the worst one I'd ever had. But then, this friend from Dallas knew one of the girls working, who was incredibly cute and nice, so she gave me one for free to make up for it! Talk about customer satisfaction! So a shout out to "the girl at the strip club" and "our great friend from texas" for the incredible night! You guys are amazing. Oh yeah, we met Vinnie Paul as well. So rad..... Stay tuned for more blogs and shit


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Tour Journal - Starting Thursday in Tucson

We have been on the road before. Done the whole road thing, it's fun. We have a good time while doing it. We're leaving for tour on Thursday starting with a show in Tucson. Here are the details.

The Living Room
7 pm - $5

The Funeral Pyre
Mammoth Grinder

cool shit. Come out and have a good time. We know we will.
Check out our other dates on our myspace page, I'm just too lazy to post them here.


Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Listening To Music - The Wrong Reasons

You know, The Funeral Pyre gets a good amount of e-mails from all your wonderful kids. Some of you are incredibly smart and very supportive of such assholes, like us. Which we thank you endlessly for. Then, there are some of you who just don't "get it." I'm not talking about the music either, cause, well, we barely get what we're doing. I'm talking about EXISTING ON A NORMAL PLANE WITH OTHER HUMANS. It's like this, why do you want to e-mail us, just to tell us that we suck? Does it make you feel better? Are more "punk" than us? Or more "black metal" than a bunch of poser kids from Southern California? We could care less. We don't play the music in order to call you kids a bunch of idiots, no, we play music because we enjoy it. So you thinking that you're so "in the know" about what music is, is just a bullshit way of saying that you're going against the grain. But you're not! All you're doing is looking like an asshole. You can hate us all you want, but is it really worth it to come out and say "you guys suck. i just thought I'd let you know." The other day, a kid added us on myspace and his message was "crappy name. AMAZING music." Now, I'm glad he liked the music, but adding the "crappy name" part just makes him look like a moron. It's like you meet a friend named Billy and you say to Billy, "Your name fucking sucks. But you're an AMAZING dude!" Totally appropriate! Get real you idiots. The only reason I'm addressing this shit right now, is because some fucking turd kid pissed me off with an e-mail this morning. Now, onto another topic which we have never discussed, but I'm about to bring it up just because of the numerous questions about it.

(The will be no shit talking about either party in this part of the blog)
We did 2 records with keyboards. We loved doing those records with keyboards. Things eventually started to not work out between both parties. That's all guys. We wish the departed party all the best of luck and there are absolutely no hard feelings. And NO we are NOT getting another keyboardist.

If you have anything to say about any of these opinions, feel free to write to us. We're always up for an argument