A long tour blog

Here goes. Getting you almost caught up! Pictures coming soon as well

Tour

June 25th - san diego
The tour started off great with Early Graves sitting in 12 hours of traffic through Los Angeles. Why? Well there were mutiple fucking fires and pretty much ruined the day! But alas, it did not. They finally managed to pick us up at around 7ish and then we were off to San Diego. The thing about San Diego is, is that we’ve never really had a good show. It’s just a difficult place to really get something solid. So naturally, we were excited to start the tour, but still unsure of how this first show would go. We get down there, load in and just start drinking as per usual. The locals on this show, actually were all fucking awesome. With Ritual Torture sticking out as probably he best band of the night. Anyway, the show ruled, and there were even some people who were there that were very excited to talk about black metal all night. About every band under the sun, every logo, etc. We scored a bunch of free drinks and had a great time as the kick off to the tour. To top it off, the restaurant that is connected to the venue also hooked up what would have been a $50 bill for only $26. Solid guys and it’s definitely always appreciated. But who are we kidding, we wanted to get to vegas soon.

June 26th - las vegas
Las Vegas is a tricky city. How do you have a bunch of fun, get drunk, and not spend any money? Well there really isn’t a clear answer on that. With tour, you have to budget yourself and well Vegas is a place that does not abide by the code of “budgting.” Either way, you still have to play and just try to keep your partying to a financial limit. So you’re hoping that somebody will buy you some drinks and you just know that you probably won’t be gambling, unless you find $10-$20 on the ground and immediately blow it on black jack. Turn outs can be difficult in Vegas, it’s just a hard place to get on your side, doesn’t matter how many times you play there. It’s always pretty rough for DIY kind of tours. All of this aside, it didn’t prevent us from setting up our e-z up tent and lawn chairs in preparation for the show. In the back of the parking lot with our cooler and chillin supplies, both us and Early Graves had a good 2-3 hours of just sitting, drinking and listening to music. This is crucial before a show, to just hang out and not do much. We had some friends show up who we’ve known for a while, they brought some booze for everybody, which helps ease the tension on your money strain, and we proceeded to get shitty. For Las Vegas, it’s something I definitely can’t complain about, we had a great time.

June 27th - Mesa, AZ
The suburb of already existing suburb, Mesa is a weird location. But whatever, the venue “the Nile Undergroud” is a sweet place run by great people. We did play with the band TOAD who was awesome. Great people as well! But there isn’t much to report for this night, we got drunk or high and went somewhere to crash. A normal tour date.

June 28th - Tucson, AZ
I generally always like Tucson, the kids are always cool, we have some great friends there and the shows just always seem to work out pretty alright. We met up with our buddies in Landmine Marathon for their tour kick off show at the new Skrappys. It’s good to see that place up and running again. The thing that is the mental killer about tour, is the the fucking heat. Tucson was a prime example, we had our tent set up, trying to get some shade going so we don’t just bake our asses off, but in this kind of heat nothing can get you away from the scolding sun and it’s death rays. But we take it in stride. The people putting on the show hooked up all three touring bands with some good pizza, some waters and essential beer. But drinking at a youth center is a no no, and skrappys doesn’t dig that shit so you have to walk around the block or something and pound some beers to get yourself going. But at shows like this, when you find out that you’re being fed for the night, you chill and make the conscious effort to not spend any money cause you know that you’ll be fed sooner or later. There you go, saving money on the road already. And not every kid or promoter brings you food, you can try to ask for it all you want, but sometimes you’re just shit out of luck. Where to next… ahh Albuquerque.

June 29th - Albuquerque, NM
Even though this city normally has a few people floating around the streets asking for money, for some reason this day was filled with he/she’s asking for money and not fucking leaving a person alone. Literally to the point where you have to show them that you are carrying a knife. Sometimes people are just so out of their fucking minds that when you say “hey, dude, leave me the fuck alone” they just don’t get the point. For some odd reason, this happened to be a day where these types of individuals seemed to be out in full force. Not to mention, the coffee shop that the show was booked at had an infestation of college hippies running around and acting a fool. I can’t stand it. The only redeeming value was that we had heard an argument that almost turned into a hippie fight over $80 and some weed. Classic shit. But one of the hippie kids wanted nothing to do with the other guy but then had acted as if he had some type of weapon in his belt? Was he carrying a gun, knife or what? So much for peace you idiot hippie. But the show went on and had a few walk ins of people who just heard loud music on the street and were surprised by whatever it is us and Early Graves do. At the end of the show the promoter had split without telling us what the deal with door money was, so naturally everybody in both bands have a fit and start calling the guy a million times looking for any kind of money from the door. Even if there wasn’t any money, you can at least have the respect to tell the band that there isn’t money, but you never walk away and act sketchy. We get a hold of him and the issue was settled and he was very nice and generous to us. Maybe we overreacted? I don’t think so just because we’ve been screwed by “promoters” or what have you before. It is what it is, just know that the $40 you have from the door can really help the bands. If you’re doing shows for bands, be civil and communicative and make sure the bands know what’s going on at all times. We head back to our friends house looking to just hang out and watch “Total Recall” and to let everyone get a shower. Well of course that’s not how it happens. As we’re all packing it in to sleep the most obnoxious and rude fucking girl I have ever met shows up and essentially pissed off 9 people in two bands in less than 30 seconds. Probably one of the worst people I have ever come across and from now on, if you ever see a band that’s just trying to sleep a little bit, shut your fucking mouth and have some respect. Maybe go outside where you can be a loud idiot? Well either way, we heard she cheated on her husband that night with somebody who was at the house. Hey girl, have a happy marriage.

June 30th - El Paso, TX
I don’t know what to think about El Paso. I never have really. It’s such a confusing place. At times you think it could be a really cool city, you have a great night and a great show, then some nights it seems like not a single person is living there anymore. Juarez Mexico is right next door and if you’re unaware of what Juarez is, well just google it and watch your jaw drop. It’s definitely not a safe place to be for anybody, whether you’re a resident or tourist. So don’t go there. We played a place that night called the Zen Meister Bar. It was actually a very cool spot. I dug it thoroughly and even though the show was kind of rough, it was still a good time and the people who came out were very fucking cool. That’s one thing that you can never let get you down, that even if there are only 10 kids in the place, just make sure they have a good time, you know? Regardless, the weather was nice and we had fun, but the only thing bumming out the whole squad was just the fact that we have to drive to Dallas immediately after. Fuck it, on to the middle of Texas, or if you want to call it “God’s Country.”

July 1st - Dallas, TX
We’ve played Dallas what feels like a hundred times. But we enjoy it a lot. We have some friends out there and have met some very good people who we keep in touch with even after tour. We’re usually always playing Reno’s Chop Shop. I do enjoy this venue, the biker bar part of it is ehhhhhh but whatever, you take whatever you can, you know? This show was with some good bands like Baring Teeth and Runes Of The Evening. Definitely quality stuff. The only thing I don’t understand about Dallas is that they’re trying to eliminate the art district known as “Deep Ellum.” That’s just something I will never get. Trying to get rid of the only part of your city that basis’ itself on arts, and you want it gone? Jesus. This is just the beginning of what will be a few days in Texas.

July 2nd - San Antonio, TX
Now, in all honesty, we’ve never had a good San Antonio show. I have no idea why, we’ve played there a bunch of times, but it’s just a city that it feels like how ever much work you put into it, you just might not ever get that reciprocated. It’s no big deal, the dudes who do the shows out there are super awesome and definitely work their ass off to bring in shows. We played this place called Zombies and man, was it FUCKING HUGE. Obviously, they knew we wouldn’t get anywhere near to it being filled up for our show. We played with a band called Aggravator this night, what an awesome band. Just true thrash metal that literally just shits in your lap and tells you to fuck off. Just quality stuff that is fun to watch. They’re even better to hang out with, the singer will have you rolling on the ground laughing when he’s drunk. Some of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. If you get the chance, be sure you check them out.

July 3rd - Austin, TX
Austin, what a great city. It honestly is a favorite of mine, except that it’s in the middle of Texas. We should just sign some type of petition where Austin can move to Southern California. I think that would bode well. Come to the best state on Earth! Come on guys, make it happen. But the biggest complaint, the fact that there are about 1,000,000 shows going on at the same time, every night, on every corner. Jesus fucking christ. The Red 7 is a rad venue though, I love playing there. This time, we got stuck with the outside stage and when it’s 90 degrees out and the humidity is so bad that you just want to hang yourself, playing outside can just ruin your mood. Alas, it didn’t ruin anybodies mood, but once everyone was in the van after the show and we were all covered in sweat from head to toe, people were starting to become annoyed and just wanted to get out of these soaked pieces of cloth and shower. Even though showering in humid weather does fuck all. Luckily, we had a nice place to stay for this night and then for the entire fourth of July. Red 7 was a good time, but I think everybody was ready to pack it in for a day.

July 4th - off day, Dallas, TX
All we did was make a shit load of vegan tacos and feasted. We don’t really celebrate any American independence day, instead we drank a bunch, ate tacos and watched some movies. All the while trying to avoid being kidnapped by one of the huge fucking mosquitos that exist out in the wilderness of Texas. Fuck those huge ass bugs.

July 5th - Memphis, TN
Memphis, a city based on the blues and rock n’ roll. Gotta love it. Our last show was at the venue called the Hi tone which is a pretty well known establishment. This time around, we couldn’t get the same place booked, but no worries, our friends helped us out and booked us at a place called the Poplar Lounge. I actually dug the environment of the place, it’s a rad little dive bar. But prior to arriving there, we did a little investigating about the venue and found out that the previous owner had been in a 3 hour stand off with the cops while trying to rob a bank! Man, what a solid dude! Needless to say, we were bummed that he wasn’t the owner still cause that would have juts made the night way more interesting! A three hour standoff is no fucking joke! Desperate times man, desperate times. Oh well, have fun in prison!

July 6th - Nashville, TN
House show time! Fucking house show! We always get stoked to play somebody’s house and potentially ruin it! Well, we don’t want to ruin it, but there are always the shitty kids who show up. Whatever. We get to this house where they’ve never really done a “metal” show, but no worries, we still set up shop and did all that we do. Which is setting up a canopy, setting up merch, getting our cooler full of ice, alcohol, and just chilling out until the time comes for us to play our shitty music. The only bummer I think about this show was that sitting outside for so long I almost had to build a force field around myself to not allow any of those huge fucking bugs get me. If you’ve never been to the south, they have bugs that are bigger than your mother. These bastards are huge and for whatever reason, have no idea how to fly and just crash into you like they’re some kind of drunk ass driver. This show was rad though, about 30 kids packed into a small ass living room on a weeknight. More of a party than anything, and well we’re down for parties. After playing in what could have been the hottest living room on earth, I step outside to try and cool down only to be swarmed by bugs and since I’m soaked in beer/alcohol sweat it just pisses me off to no extent! Fuck I’m angry just thinking about it. The night comes down to an end, we shit talk with each other, listen to some T.I., E-40 and The Game. Now, we’re going to try and sleep in the same hot ass living room that we just played, oh well, who needs sleep anyway? Not I, not I.

July 7th - Louisville, KY
Skull fucking Alley in Louisville! What an awesome venue run by awesome people. Stonecutters and Grave Flower both played and both of them ruled. Not the best turn out, but it was an awesome show nonetheless. This place has a good vibe to it and I suggest booking it if you’re a band touring. Not much happened this night and to be honest we were all super excited to get to Columbus for a day off to just chill out and not do shit. But before that, the nice dudes in Lords (Chris!) allowed us to crash at his awesome house. What a great dude! The place was rad and we couldn’t thank him enough for the hospitality, even though he wasn’t even there, as Lords was finishing up their recent US Tour!

July 8th - Day Off, OH
Finally we had one day off while on this tour. The only bummer is that I got too wasted and said a bunch of shit! Let’s just say I was put to sleep by everyone in the tour and was talked to sternly. Hey, we all fuck up!

July 9th - Columbus, OH
This was Funeral Pyre’s first time playing the Carabar in Columbus, but we had heard a ton of great things. This was a show with the hometown band Struck By Lightning, so we had a great feeling about it from the beginning. We had shown up relatively early just to check out the spot and get a feel. One awesome thing about this place is the vegetarian and vegan friendly menus. Plus the fact that they hook up the food for touring bands, which is always a plus. Not spending money is super important and when a venue is willing to just help you out cause you’re on the road. Quality people, definitely. The show had a great turn out and it was actually Struck By Lightning’s vinyl release show from their last record “Serpents.” The lp looked great and they did a wonderful job, so if you catch them on tour be sure you buy that rad piece of wax! Throughout the night our merch guy, well he worked merch for about a week, would go out in the crowd and try to sell cds, patches, whatever to people that weren’t really coming by the merch booth at all. Well he talked to one girl to closely and her super macho boyfriend shoved our merch guy out of the way. I’m not quite sure if it was a total asshole move, cause well merch guy in question can get himself in some weird situations! But this dude was still way too big to be shoving our friend around. Anyway, nothing really happened with said guy, but during the last song of Struck By Lightning, some turds decided to take swings at each other, then it carried out into the street. It was one of the dumbest and worst fights I’ve seen in my day. Fuck it, it was just ridiculous and letting people like that ruin the night was not going to happen in anyway! We hung out for a while longer and got some free drinks and shots. Hung out, intoxication took over and we then knew that we had to split to Gloversville, NY which was 10 hours away.

July 10th - Gloversville, NY
I hate overnight drives. I hate them. I fucking HATE HATE HATE THEM. But we had to do it. So Gloversville is about 45 minutes outside of Albany. I’ve only been to Albany once and all I did was sleep in a house for a night. Didn’t see anything, didn’t care to. But Gloversville was a show we knew nothing about. It was the place’s first show (for the new owners anyway) and they were super excited to be having a metal show. I think there were 5 bands on the show that night, but I can’t be for certain. I’d say the biggest plus was that it wasn’t overly hot! God damn, after being in some of the places we had been, not having the heat ruin our time was terrific. The owners of this new establishment were so excited that they were cutting us deals left and right, hooking us up with food and beers like a great host should. I was super stoked. But was still unsure of how the show would end up doing. But that worry quickly went away as a bunch of kids showed up out of nowhere. It’s always a great feeling when you can get a good show in a small town. Those are always the hit or miss shows. Luckily for this show, it was a pretty good success for it being a town that we’ve never been to. Sometimes luck does fall your way, oh except for the $9.50 for a pack of smokes thing, that was fucking awful.

July 11th - Jamaica Plain, MA
We were a late addition to this show, which was primarily a death metal/slam type show. Which is totally fine, we just needed a show and any kind if better than none. This was originally an 8 band show which got cut down to 7 bands, which I definitely didn’t complain about. For this show though, I think we had the best merch set up we have ever done. We brought a pop up tent that is about 10 feet by 10 feet and we will set that up outside of a venue and hang out underneath it. Keeps the sun off of you and allows you to just chill out, of course we have each person’s designated chair as well, just for this time of action. So on this day, which happened to be a nice day in Boston (Jamaica Plain is the next door to Beantown), we decided to set the tent up over the trailer which had about 4 feet of extra tent that would pop out onto the sidewalk. Then on the side of the trailer we had set up all the merch with tape and coat hangers. So essentially we had a little sidewalk sale of merch that nobody will care about going on. But still, we managed to peddle off some stickers to passers by and get some cash that way, since we knew we probably wouldn’t be taking any door money because of the amount of bands that were on the show. Needless to say, these bands packed this fucking bar and pretty much sold it out. We were stoked even though we knew it wasn’t for us, but just as long as 20 of those people stayed behind we knew we’d have a good time. Luckily for us, that happened and both EG and ourselves played pretty good sets, aside from Justin our guitarist breaking his first string of tour while in the middle of the first song. But that’s the way it is. By the time our sets were finished it was already about 1:30 am, the only really awesome thing was that our show was in Boston the next night as was a 5 minute drive.