Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Manifest Blasphemy Tour

The above picture should be kind of confusing you. If it is, then that's why I put it there. But the picture does also, explain the past 2 1/2 incredible weeks that were the "Manifest Blasphemy" tour with us and Early Graves. Now, what the picture is, is our guitarist Jimmy flat on his ass after drinking to much and falling on stage knocking all of his equipment completely off the stage in Portland, Oregon. Yes, damage was done, we only were able to play 1 and 3/4 songs because of this, but we'll forever remember that show. It's something to pass down to our kids as well, that's if any of us even have kids. Anyway, this tour is one for the record books, also, the history books to each person who was involved in this tour.

We have always done DIY tours, we've never been on a real "packaged tour" or had catering or anything like that. We have always done this ourselves and this time we felt it should be documented via photo. That's why I asked Aaron Melendrez ( to come along and document this entire thing. Aaron's skills behind the camera are amazing, he's one of the best I have ever seen. If you want to see the photos, go to the F Pyre myspace ( and check them out. Otherwise, hit up Aaron and give him some business!

Ok, now that I'm done with that, I want to give some thank yous to all the people who helped in anyway with this tour, or just showed up and came out to the shows and supported underground touring bands. Let's get started - First and foremost a thank you to our best friends and peers Early Graves, Aaron Melendrez, Brian the Reno Riot (Tigersharks!), Shawn Whore for satan, Ben, Laura, Pomroy, Joe Joe Potato for always being there and supporting, you know we love you guys and gal! josh tahoe, kyle unlearn, jozy portland, Book Of Black Earth and Adam Superfan, the kids in Boise and Courtney for watching merch! Luke Gaza for saying some of the weirdest shit I've ever heard, Keith Deadspeak (Support Ernie November in Cheyenne WY!), Ethan from Clinging To The Trees Of A Forest Fire, Tronzie and Joaquin for letting us have the most ignorant night of our lives, Ashley in Tucson, the Alec & Alex in Tucson for their undying support and love (we love you guys!), everybody in Landmine Marathon for coming out and having a great time!, Danny Northside for being the funniest dude I've ever met, Colleen in Phoenix, Ryan in Brawley for being one of the best dudes in music, and finally Eddie at the Relax Bar/Southern Lord for honestly always helping us out, giving us shows when nobody else wants to book us. All of you, thank you so much for everything. 2008 was an amazing year, we released a record that we love, hopefully 2009 can be a step in the right direction. To all of you, thank you again, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other in the future.

Cheers, and Hail Satan.

The Funeral Pyre - 2008

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Ignorance at it's finest.

The date now is November 16th. The Funeral Pyre and Early Graves played at Telo's Campus House in New Mexico. There were maybe 15 people at the show, but that never stops the train. Consider these people, future victims of what is about to take place. The story I'm about to tell you, really happened, I will not name names, I will not expose one person's identity for the sake of laughter. Just take in the story, the events, and quite possibly the worst/best day that we have ever had. Shall we....

It started merely with being in New Mexico. It's almost like a home away from home for The Funeral Pyre, so as we arrived at the location of the show, we decided to pick up some beer and get the night started in our usual fashion. We hang out, drink, have a dandy ol' time waiting for our great pals in Early Graves. Upon their arrival, beer is in full swing. Load into the show, set up merch, hang out, continue to drink.

During the small show, we realized that the Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Coture fight is on, so immediately after we play we haul ass up to the Campus House and watch the fight. Which was a great fight, too bad Lesnar won, as we were not pulling for him. But there was some retarded motherfucker who was watching with us and giving his UNWANTED OPINION about the fight. Anywho, that guy is an asshole and needs not to be talked about anymore for the duration of this blog.

Our New Mexico friends decide to have a gathering at their house, and like the gentlemen we are, we oblige and head on over to the house after we pick up some more alcohol to ease our pain of life. We arrive at the house where ignorance happened. Now, there is just somethings that happen at "parties" that piss me the FUCK off, well that is when a stupid fucking girl has to be the center of attention while drinking, then this girl drinks way too much and passes out in the middle of the gathering. Other people were in and out of the house and people were having a grand time. Then as the night, what we thought was winding down at about 3 am, just got real. This passed out girl wakes up to a person advising this young girl that passing out on a couch in the middle of the party wasn't such a good idea. That's when we were shown her shoe full of semen. Well, neither The Funeral Pyre nor Early Graves condone this type of action, we didn't really laugh at it, in fact, it was pretty fucking creepy to say the least. After we were presented with the semen shoe, we decided to wake her up and tell her to get to a bed upstairs and sleep in peace. Well peace was the last thing this smart mouth asshole had on her mind. Waking up and giving a piece of her mind to individuals who are MUCH smarter than her, not a good idea girly! Not good at all. So as she gathers her things and calls her EX BOYFRIEND to come pick her up, she decides to say how all of us are "bigots" and that she is a "feminist." To which we replied with, "you're such a feminist that you pass out at a party with a bunch of guys, now you're walking with cum in your shoe. you're definitely not a smart girl." We'll return to her in a minute, because as this was happening, there was also fighting going on between most everyone in the house.

As we're all in a drunken state of mind, yelling and calling each other the worst names ever seems the most appropriate. Well it turned into a fight which lead to an upstairs fight that almost had 2 people falling off of an indoor balcony and breaking through a wall. In fact, it would have been about a 15 foot drunken fall. Intense as shit. Everyone is basically brawling upstairs with each other, but all in good fun. But not really. We are yelling, punching, farting and doing everything that juvenile guy wants to do. After the dust settles, we have another plan...

Back to the girl who was mentioned before, we get her phone number and immediately decide to make this girls life hell. Hell wasn't what she got, this "feminist" willingly invited somebody from our group of people over to her apartment/dorm what have you. Now, does that sound very self respectable? Well it's not girl, you're not fooling anyone! We send over troops to investigate the situation, equipped with a camera and a predator mask. Yes, a predator mask.. As the infiltrate the dorm, our predator mask individual, who was there to take pictures of a girl who was drunk out of her mind and just basically embarrass her and to teach her a lesson! None of this was malicious and rude, we were merely giving a clinic in who not to mess around with. Are we so wrong? Girl, self respect doesn't come from inviting band guys back to your dorm, it doesn't come from reading a book about feminism, believe what ever lie you want. We also know you're christian! After one of our toops made it into the dorm, the others had to split as to not be caught by any type of pig or law enforcement, whatever you want to call them.

At about 5 am the night was called off, we eventually made our way to our sleeping arrangements, laughing at the fact that such idiotic people actually do live. Hypocrites, they walk among us everywhere. They're in our scene! Do not be afraid or let them be your friend, destroy the weak!

In the morning, said person who made it into the dorm returned to the homestead where we exchanged stories of the night and ate veggie breakfast burritos. Not to mention, a peddler who came up to us while we're eating breakfast with a scam that his nephew or whatever's dad had just passed away and they needed money for a funeral. Now, we're not bad guys, but come on! Eating breakfast? Dead guy? Not fucking cool man...

All in all, it was a great night, we had a blast, made some enemies, made some friends. Fought, yelled crude names, and just made everyone feel uneasy.

Oh and the picture above is from the movie No Country For Old Men. Get some.

In time,
The Funeral Pyre

Saturday, November 8, 2008

The road

We played our first show in San Francisco as the first show, on a thursday night in SF, you're lucky if people show up. And well, some people did show up. We hung out with some old friends, which is always nice. We drank too much as usual, woke up at Chris Early Graves' house and decided to head to Tahoe for the second show. The second show was at the always fun Whiskey Dicks. Good turnout, and we had a blast. Already it's becoming cold as shit and my warm blood isn't handling it too well.

The picture above is shot out in front of our friend Josh's house.

The Funeral Pyre

ps - More blogs coming soon, more pictures as well..

Sunday, November 2, 2008


Hello everyone,
Here are some fliers for the shows coming up. It's kind of nice knowing that people are actually starting to promote shows. Makes my black little hart glow just a little bit... Anywho, come out to these shows, these are just some of the tour stops we'll be on. Let's party, let's have a good time.

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In other news, I picked up some new cds today. None of which are metal, but great bands.

Neil Young - Harvest
Crosby Stills Nash And Young - Deja Vu
CSS - Donkey
Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See

In time,
The Funeral Pyre